In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
