He asked me if I "almost moaned"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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