whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
