hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Are we still banned from the library?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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