Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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