Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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