My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
