I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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