put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
