who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
