i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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