When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
