i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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