whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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