the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
