dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Pooping to opera.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
