idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
