I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
