So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am one with the molecules
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
