he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
