So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
