we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
