every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
