This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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