I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
