you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
