He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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