we have pet lesbian snakes
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
