i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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