idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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