I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
