I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
