dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
this hospital has no fireball
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
