WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
