I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
