is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
