I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
