You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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