I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I am available for nakedness
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
