She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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