I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He better not be in your backpack
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
