I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize