In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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