is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
