you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
