I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
