So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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