You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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