I seem to have left my pride at pride
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
