i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
