Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize