you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
home. puking in laundry basket.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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