So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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