Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
