Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
