So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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