Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
