I think I am morally bankrupt
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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