I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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