I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
