I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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