apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
