i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
