i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
