you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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