Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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