i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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