don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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