i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
