at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize