I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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