He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
